Give Pies A Chance

The Cupcake Wars were the start of it all
The start of the great Pastry Kingdom’s fall
The Prince of Cupcakes tried to seize the power
From King Cake, his dad, who had all the flour

Prince Cupcake sought rule o’er all the land’s pastries
And tried conquering the sweet Kingdom hastily
But King Cake did not take too kindly to this
Declaring that his treason must be dismissed

Pastry War

Those that stayed loyal were King Cake’s Old Guard
Made up of Old-Fashioned Donuts and Bars
And cranky crullers all covered in glaze
All waiting for the Prince and the end of days

There began a baking war gruesome and swift
Where cobblers clashed with buttered biscuits
And fighting fruitcakes wrestled rough raisin bread
Who tried to use yeast to raise up their dead

Fruitcake

The Muffin Minutemen were all tough scrappers
With their impenetrable wax wrappers
The trick, though, to making a muffin stop
Was to somehow pop off the muffin’s top

Three-layer cakes were brought into the conflicts, too
Led into war by Captain Tiramisu
Who dropped pound cakes into the Pastry War Zone
Against a lovely, flaky army of scones

Give Pies A Chance

 And bagels popped fresh daily from the delis
A carb-loaded rage burned deep in their bellies
But something happened when they turned a day old
They became stale, stiff and suddenly less bold

When all the King’s empanadas fell down
He knew the time had come to give up his crown
His mighty army reduced to a baker’s dozen
Of weakling wonuts (the cronut’s half-cousin)

And just as both sides were on their last legs
The Cupcake Prince planned to turn to dregs
The King’s last cakes with vats of coffee black
To wash their crumbs away in one last attack

But then from the field came a sonorous call
From some treats who had sat out of it all
“We can save you from this wanton destruction
Just trust us and our lattice construction”

Give Pies A Chance!

“Give Pies a Chance!” – went the rallying cry
“There’s nothing more wonderful than a pie
A treat sought after for its calming flavors
Could truly be the Pastry Kingdom’s savior”

“Give Pies a Chance! Take a chance on pie!
The key to lasting pastry peace is Key Lime!
You’ll be back right quick for seconds and more
And we’ll never again have to think of this war!

 “So forget Cupcake Wars and embrace Pie Peace
We’ll settle squabbles o’er a shared piece
Of pies made of cream, nuts, and seasonal fruits”
… And the Prince and the King came to a Pie Truce
Give Pies A Chance

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